Halloween and such...

It's been a long time Cottonheads. :[
I feel horrible for abandoning you, but now I'm back, and crazier then ever!

Halloween was last Saturday. Let me just tell you, greatest holiday ever. I had way too much fun. Now, not only have I discovered that I am a "fucking adorable" ninja with a gun, but I can also get out of sticky situations quick like a bunny.

On Friday night I ended up staying up 23 hours, lost my mind, and had a phone conversation that I can now no longer remember.
On Halloween day I found out that I love my friends more then ever. Halloween night we all went to our schools Halloween dance with no high hopes, our schools dances fail miserably and are usually all rap with Sandstorm thrown in there somewhere. Out of nowhere I hear the beginning of the Time Warp. I am a flipping Rocky Horror whore, I love it like crazy. Anyway, hearing this made we bolt away from the group of people I came with into the darkness of our black out auditorium to find my fellow Rocky Whore, Mica. After screaming her name a few times she pops up out of no where and drags me across the room to where they are SHOWING THE SCENE. This is the pont where I flip the fuck out and tear off everything that I could without getting suspended. Shoes, gloves, scarf, all those juicy bits are gone. Now Here I am, in front of more then 200 people, with maybe five other kids doing the Time Warp and screaming 'group sex'. Little did I know our principle watched the whole thing >.<

So we left the dance early, after the "Time Warp" we knew it would only go downhill. On our way home we decided to stop by the local Kroger to pick up some half off candy. After finding our loots we were about to check out when these three girls come in wearing the skankiest costumes ever. Okay, they weren't really, but one of them was wearing a Robin costume. I swear to all that is holy her nipples were falling out of her shirt, so as we passed them I stated a fact rather too loudly "Or let your nipples hang out, that's cool too..."
No more then five minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. Here's some girl, she was a pretty girl, but she was a bigger girl. A REALLY big girl, wearing close to nothing. She looks me dead in the eyes and in the whiniest voice I have ever heard "Did you just call my best friend a... SLUT?" At this point we're screwed, these girls looked like bad news. If we didn't act fast, If I didn't act fast, we were doomed, they'd try to stomp us then and there. I looked over to my friends for help. At this point they all looked like nuns, clothed from neck to ankle, halo and folded hands, (backstabbers). I thought we were screwed, we were gonna die in Kroger, but then I saw Carolyn. Sweet little Carolyn whom of which we'd been calling a French hooker all night. Her top was low enough!
"Oh no, no! I was just making fun of my friend, her top's been really low all night!" (her cleavage wasn't even showing >.<)
"Ohhhhhh, okay!!!" The three girls walked away, we lived, and they still didn't get that I never said she wasn't a whore.


Moral of the story is, If you are going to do the Time Warp in public, look around before you start screaming your fondness for 'group sex'.
Another moral is that if you are going to call other girls sluts, be sure to have a skanky friend to help bail you out. :D


Alex {{{I love my best friends, even my fellow slut ninja with a gun}}} Lee


P.S. Sandstorm is an amazing dance song, the only real techno song they ever play, I'm still not sure why, no one seems to like it but me and my friends.

P.S.S. Yes, I did in fact call your friend a slut, tape dem nippies in!