I was required to write a blog for school. Go figure, I hope you don't mind it:

Sex, Drugs but no Rock and Roll? C is for Corruption:
My first day at Bishop Brady High School consisted of ridicule and antagonizing classmates. Why? I wore a black tee shirt that had a band’s name on the front. Someone forgot to tell me that this was unacceptable--at least to the student population. Needless to say that I stood out like a sore thumb. I can not consider myself a graduate of a Catholic High School, because this would require two things of me: A. to have gone to Catholic School for four years, and B. Accepting the practices and injustices of the Catholic School System.
After the first day of school, all students were required to wear the school uniform: navy, green or white polo shirt with either khaki pants or a plaid skirt all provided by the school. For some absurd reason, I still was known as the “Goth” kid; I just did not fit in with everyone else. The more I tried to find out why, the more I decided I did not want to be anything like them.
Corrupt is a good word to describe the teaching staff at a Catholic High School. Teachers do not need a teaching degree, all they need is to know someone important at the school and then they get a job. The gym teacher in 2004 was fired (for having sexual relations in the kitchen with the typing teacher), and was replaced by the principal’s son—a stoner who dropped out of college. He would come to class smelling like marijuana and alcohol and no one did anything about it. Why would they? Most of the kids were smoking with him.
This pot problem did not stop with the principal’s son; her daughter also would smoke like a chimney. I can not recall the number of times I would walk into the girls locker room and see her in the far corner with one of her “bffs” smoking some sort of drug combination.
Drinking and engaging in sexual activities on school grounds was also a common occurrence. What did the school do about it? Almost nothing. They tried to suspend kids for it, but once they found out the principal’s daughter and the vice principal’s daughter were involved they turned a blind eye. To make a long story short; Bishop Brady High School refused to report alcohol and drug use on the campus, thus breaking a few laws, and they refused to discipline anyone engaging in other activities that inappropriate for school.
Now, if these students were willing to engage in such activities at school, one can only imagine what they were willing to do in the comfort of their own home--or lack of comfort.
The thing that I, to this day, never understand was why people would disrespect their body, mind and their relationships just for a short “high”. People who need drugs and sex to make them happy need to start listing to better music.

Post-op

I've been tending these words for weeks
Scripting them in living breath
Mercilessly trying to erase
The cold embrace of death
I can still feel it on my finger tips
Can I still beat this yet?
Fighting for all that I hang to
Scraping at the edge

Some days I walk on the ground
While others have me walk on glass
On days I stand strong
I remind myself not to tear stitches
Move slowly and resist the infection
Keep going this delicate balance
Which no one understands

Living more afraid
With much less confidence
Flinching to brace for the next hit
Beaten down
Eyes cast up to look for the sun
Anxious to see what I will find
Trying to take what's given
Bring it needed oxygen
Before a flat line

I cherish so this blessing
Take it deep
Here now and to all time
Taking only as needed
Resting up as best I can
Transplants take time to heal
Guess for this placement
First, none, or last
I don't regret

Hello Blog! It's been a while hasn't it?

This is only a quick update for now, but I'll try and post another later in the week. I've moved on from Health and Social Care to Art and Design and I'm still not happy! Isn't life funny? My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 2 and a half years now and we're happy(ish, but I'll elaborate some other time). There's so much I want to write, but it's nearly half past one in the morning and I have a half-finished essay and a sketchbook due in tomorrow. The joys of being an art student...

x

Halloween and such...

It's been a long time Cottonheads. :[
I feel horrible for abandoning you, but now I'm back, and crazier then ever!

Halloween was last Saturday. Let me just tell you, greatest holiday ever. I had way too much fun. Now, not only have I discovered that I am a "fucking adorable" ninja with a gun, but I can also get out of sticky situations quick like a bunny.

On Friday night I ended up staying up 23 hours, lost my mind, and had a phone conversation that I can now no longer remember.
On Halloween day I found out that I love my friends more then ever. Halloween night we all went to our schools Halloween dance with no high hopes, our schools dances fail miserably and are usually all rap with Sandstorm thrown in there somewhere. Out of nowhere I hear the beginning of the Time Warp. I am a flipping Rocky Horror whore, I love it like crazy. Anyway, hearing this made we bolt away from the group of people I came with into the darkness of our black out auditorium to find my fellow Rocky Whore, Mica. After screaming her name a few times she pops up out of no where and drags me across the room to where they are SHOWING THE SCENE. This is the pont where I flip the fuck out and tear off everything that I could without getting suspended. Shoes, gloves, scarf, all those juicy bits are gone. Now Here I am, in front of more then 200 people, with maybe five other kids doing the Time Warp and screaming 'group sex'. Little did I know our principle watched the whole thing >.<

So we left the dance early, after the "Time Warp" we knew it would only go downhill. On our way home we decided to stop by the local Kroger to pick up some half off candy. After finding our loots we were about to check out when these three girls come in wearing the skankiest costumes ever. Okay, they weren't really, but one of them was wearing a Robin costume. I swear to all that is holy her nipples were falling out of her shirt, so as we passed them I stated a fact rather too loudly "Or let your nipples hang out, that's cool too..."
No more then five minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. Here's some girl, she was a pretty girl, but she was a bigger girl. A REALLY big girl, wearing close to nothing. She looks me dead in the eyes and in the whiniest voice I have ever heard "Did you just call my best friend a... SLUT?" At this point we're screwed, these girls looked like bad news. If we didn't act fast, If I didn't act fast, we were doomed, they'd try to stomp us then and there. I looked over to my friends for help. At this point they all looked like nuns, clothed from neck to ankle, halo and folded hands, (backstabbers). I thought we were screwed, we were gonna die in Kroger, but then I saw Carolyn. Sweet little Carolyn whom of which we'd been calling a French hooker all night. Her top was low enough!
"Oh no, no! I was just making fun of my friend, her top's been really low all night!" (her cleavage wasn't even showing >.<)
"Ohhhhhh, okay!!!" The three girls walked away, we lived, and they still didn't get that I never said she wasn't a whore.


Moral of the story is, If you are going to do the Time Warp in public, look around before you start screaming your fondness for 'group sex'.
Another moral is that if you are going to call other girls sluts, be sure to have a skanky friend to help bail you out. :D


Alex {{{I love my best friends, even my fellow slut ninja with a gun}}} Lee


P.S. Sandstorm is an amazing dance song, the only real techno song they ever play, I'm still not sure why, no one seems to like it but me and my friends.

P.S.S. Yes, I did in fact call your friend a slut, tape dem nippies in!

Hangover

I woke up in a strange bed, not knowing how I came there, what I was doing, or why my body hurt so much. I looked around and pieces of the evening before came back to me. I was at my volunteer work, at the local stage and we had a meeting. And we also learned how to tap beer (I knew that already, but we had to do it again and show we knew it).
And then I drank a beer and another and another and another and some more. I missed the last bus home and went home with a co-worker, who's also a good friend. On the way to his house I tried to longboard, but fell down so much that I had a few wounds, that was the thing that was hurting.
Now I'm dizzy and not able to spell, make good sentences and anything like it. Stupid hangovers.

I like being able to drink beer since I were sixteen, can't even imagine waiting till 21. The drunken evenings with friends are just too much fun

this is why we should not have sleepovers anymore.

On Monday night, I saw AFI. It was just indescribably awesome. I was one person behind the barricade. In front of me was a really tall guy, who looked as if he had heard of AFI yesterday/never been to any kind of concert before. He was texting the whole time. Then he was complaining about all the people screaming the songs and stuff. XD. I did get a picture with Smith, and I hugged Adam. And Jade signed my poster. We had to leave before Davey and Hunter came outside, because my dad was worried about the people we may encounter while walking back to the hotel.

One of my good friends, Audrey, (who is also in the band I'm in, which is actually called 'Nameless'), decided that she should have a sleepover for her birthday this year. Bad idea. Better yet, extremely terrible idea. So Friday night, we saw a play about vampires that lasted for two hours. (It did poke fun at Twilight, which was enjoyable.) All the characters were played by two men. That was over at 11:30. When we got home, we had vegan birthday cake. (I have some awesome friends that really care about me.) We somehow figured out (don't ask how) that a plastic jackolantern amplified the sound from headphones. So we carried that around for I-don't-know-how-many hours. Then we were dancing to The Cure in darkness at 1 AM and eating vegan ice cream and cake and the rest of the icing. (Erin and I ate all of it, as we do not get to eat ice cream as often as those who eat dairy.) And climbing in trees like little children. Until 3 AM or so. Audrey and I snuck outside, while Cecilia and Erin were still inside. Our feet felt the need to move. So, still with the jackolantern and the ipod, we decided to walk around the pool until we got bored. We went to the swingset and randomly cussed at each other and laughed for a really long time. (That shows how mature we are. XD) Then Cecelia and Erin came outside and couldn't find us at first, as there were no lights and the stars were obscured by clouds. So we tried to swing really high so they would see us, and we almost fell off. Then they saw us and we all walked around the pool again for quite some time. Cecelia and Erin went to the swingset, and Audrey and I decided to squish ourselves in a hammock that was only made for one person and try to look for the stars, which was unsuccessful. Her parents woke up and noticed we weren't inside and made us go inside. Then, after an hour or so, we went outside again for a few minutes, and I stuck my feet in the pool, which was just above freezing, and I somehow forgot I had long pants on, so, I had to deal with up to my knees being near-frozen for the rest of the night. Then we went back inside and put the jackolantern on each other's heads. We ended up staying awake until around 5, slept until 9:30, and then we sat in the tree again and ate lettuce. (I have absolutely no idea why.) We're like little kids. :D

I am in the process of writing a 10-or-so page (and it keeps extending) poem that may one day become (a) song(s). I have absolutely no idea why or how I chose to do this, or why it ended up being so long. Or exactly what it's about. Right now it resembles a really long Mad Libs page because there's a bunch of places where I can't think of the right word.

Did you know that I have the kind of friends that would actually skip class to hang out at, of all places, the grocery store? I did not until today. Our assistant principal was late and he saw them walking down the street. They got suspended for three days.

my friends scare me,
♥ izzy

The Secret Is Out

I knew it was true
What you knew
Swore you'd never known
But you know now
You know too well

And the secret is out
And the secret is out

The sky is colder
You look up now
Swore it was down
To find what you found
Underground

It's raining now
It's raining now

Fingers on glass
You retained their shape
Swore they melted away
Feel then fade

I've lost the day
I've lost the day