questions, but no definite answers. yet.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Which is always a good thing, but, more specifically, thinking about subjects such as existence, the human thought process, time, etc. And the past.

As you live longer, you begin to find that sometimes, if you truly love someone, you just have to let them go. Along with that, to let grudges and mistakes go. Disconnect from dismal things, to the best of your ability. Know when things are worth fighting over. People can and will change, but don't always try to change them. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you in return. Carefully choose the people you show affection to. Love just a bit more in general, but be careful who you become emotionally attached to.

I know this is pretty much common sense for everyone, but I think we, as in the world in general, should adhere to this thing we know as "common sense" a bit more sometimes. It doesn't always seem so common.

I think I have a crush on one of my good friends, and the boy who I used to like has changed. They are always so awesome, for lack of a better term, and we share so many interests. (I love being vague.) Yet I confuse myself. I don't think I'll tell them for... a long time. Because with me, if I hold my feelings inside, and not show them too often, it tends to work out better.

I've also realized that I don't belong here. Maybe taking a really long road trip would be a good idea. Yet last time I tried to do that, it never really materialized. Money is an issue, so is parental consent. I want to go to Mesa and Phoenix, AZ and visit my family. A lot of them live there. Plus I have a close friend there.

Enough rambling.

Love,
Izzy

Jealousy

I wish there was no human need for it. It quite possibly may be the worst feeling aside from heartache. Especially when you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of. When you know the person you have loves you. When you know that any conversation that person has with another person is purely innocent on their end.

So why do I get jealous? Because the person talks to other people? Because the person can connect with others besides me? Because the person is friends with people who happen to have crushes on the person? What's wrong with me? How could I feel this type of petty jealousy? Is it really just part of being human, or is my head just fucked up? How can I stop?