due to sleep deprivation.

I've realized that I have some ridiculous ambitions. Of course, almost everyone does. Here are some of mine: 1. Get into a nice college absolutely nowhere near here. 2. Have enough AP classes so that when I get there, I'll be counted as a sophomore when I'm a freshman, and therefore graduate earlier. Actually, that's not that crazy for me as of now. I have a friend who did that. I don't have too long... scary. 3. Get somewhere with this band and prove all those people who said we couldn't wrong. 4. Change someone's life. 5. Change the world.

On second thought, most of those aren't too crazy. Then again, I'm often considered relentlessly optimistic. As much as I hate saying this, I honestly think I've matured quite a bit over the past year or so. Although, I'm afraid that I have the heart of a six year old, hence putting the spongy dinosaurs in the toilet, and I doubt that will ever change, yet it's not necessarily a bad thing. A little more than half a year ago, I almost died. Since then, I've found new meaning to life and learned that there's always tomorrow, and that I don't have to act, look, or think like anyone else. A few months ago, I thought I was being different, yet I was still clinging to a group of people that were all the exact same. I think I've begun to understand people, and possibly even myself just a little bit more.

Many will say that you don't have to love everyone. Yet I think I do, somehow. Even as bad as a person may seem, there's got to be some good in them somewhere. Yes, I love you even if I don't know you at all. I do realize I'm excessively strange. I do not hate any person in this world, I might just strongly dislike some of their actions.

The world, in general, fascinates me. Next year, I hope to meet more people and possibly travel some. All I know for sure is that I need a change of scenery. I only have a few years left in this city, though. I need a roadtrip that lasts for a month or a few. We totally need a DF roadtrip, for those of us in it. Bring about 60 people. Go all over the country. Someone go get a bus driver's permit and a bus. Next summer. Totally. Kayla (glassspiderwebs on the DF and twitter) and I have already discussed this, and we officially declare it to be one of the best ideas ever. :) Drive all over the country and pick 50-or-so people up, go random places all over the US for a few week. Or a month. Or a few. How to acquire the proper funds for this, how to actually and realistically plan this out, and how to convince the parents that this is the best idea ever and they should let me go, I have yet to know, but seriously.

Someday.

Love,
Izzy

(1 hour and 57 minutes until the next decade! :D)

chaos, fake love notes, flipping light switches, and spongy dinosaurs

I shall assume it's safe to say that sometimes, all of us will find that we have wandered into chaos unknowingly. That's obvious. Whether it be that there's too much work cut out for us, we said something irrationally stupid, or whatever. But for me, it almost always involves procrastination.

I really need to stop complaining about my endless list of problems.

One thing I am simply annoyed with is that many people, or more specifically, many teenagers and young people, feel they need to adhere to a certain group, or conform to a stereotype, in the ways that they dress, act, talk, etc. "Acceptance" is something valued by the general public, it seems. Yet it's just part of human nature... I'm sure I'm not the only one who it annoys. If you truly like something, wear it. Don't wear it because everyone else is. I do not know how many times I can repeat myself to certain people. It's something that will never be changed, though.

My band, Nameless Elegy, is coming along pretty well, other than that we have problems with the bassist and drumset situations. And maybe the singer. I don't know. I've been working on all the "nerdy stuff," apparently. As in, website, finances, etc. I'm just great at those kind of things. It's probably a good idea to go ahead and get your foundations set out before you really start a big project like this, because then, it's less likely to collapse. It actually is quite astounding to me how many words I understand, yet infrequently use in everyday conversation. It really helps when reading contracts and the like. Not that we're signed (yet), but for just reading the terms and conditions, for stuff like our website hosting service. Of course, it will really be instrumental if we get signed, though. I've wrote some guitar riffs I really like, I got another guitar (which is not exactly the best brand or model of guitar, but better than my other one. yet it's not bad at all), maybe buying a new amp/pedals/other guitar stuff soon, and, yeah.

I feel excruciatingly inarticulate right now.

This morning, we confirmed another techie/tour support. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey, Frances, can you confirm that you'll be one of our techies/tour support?
Frances: Yeah, definitely, as long as I don't have to fix computers or something.
Me: Well pretty much all you have to do is flip light switches, and...
*Cate starts cracking up at this point, then we all realize how imbecilic that sounded and start laughing.*
Me: ...and tell us how much money we have to buy food with.
Frances: 'NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MONEY TO BUY FOOD. IT'S ALL MINE...'

Friday was the last day of school before winter break. It snowed and they let us out of school an hour early. It didn't stick to the ground, though. I hugged most of my friends and told them I loved them, because it just started snowing a few minutes before we left, and we haven't seen snow in almost two years. Winter is my favorite season.

Since it was the last day of school before break, one of my best friends, Cassidy, and I had to mess up something. Thursday, a good friend of mine gave me those little sponge capsule things that expand in water. I don't know what she was thinking, knowing me. First, we put one of those in a toilet, and walked away. Later, one of my friends on the bus told me she saw a dinosaur sponge in the toilet, and that everyone found it hilarious. Another one of my friends heard this and thought it was the best idea ever. I think we should do that again at the end of the year, but get three packs of spongy dinosaurs or something. Everyone always does something ridiculous, usually fifty times worse than that. All week, we'd been cutting out little paper hearts that said various phrases along the lines of "Happy Holidays! I love you." "Merry Christmas! Ohyeah! P.S. - Ur hot." [Cassidy said that "sounded wrong."] "Happy New Year. You're awesome!" written in different colors and handwriting. We had time to stick about ten of them in our friends' lockers, and we have about ten left. The day we get back, assuredly. What's awesome about this is that our friends have a bunch of holiday and joke love notes, yet they have absolutely no idea who they're from. Yes, I am aware that we're very bad and mature kids. But we didn't want to get suspended the day before winter break. Or really ever.

Love,
Izzy

burnin the flag at half-mast...

Warning for Grey is sorta happening.

I'm editing my NaNoWriMo novel. it's based off 21st Century Breakdown. It's painful.

Finals are next week. I can't play chords... wish me luck in Music/Basic Guitar. And for the music theory shit in Choir. Ugh.

Finals

They are this really stressful time of year where all you want to do is sleep and go home for vacation except you have a ton of work to do.
Two more days.
Sadly, I got an incomplete in my form study class >.<
I did pass every other class though.