STATic

I found, there's nothing to this underneath
Just a fight for lives uncertain 
No matter what happens the outcome feels the same
So if I hurry
I'll still be here all the same
I was kidding myself to think
That a hospital bed with wheels
Meant a smoother recovery
Or that every time the vital signs drop
That the doctor will find medication in time

We were all left wondering where the quality of life went
Hooked up to a thousand machines
Everyone would like to think they'd help
But they only preserve the dead
On the days when I'm breathing
Or the days when I'm gasping
It all reads the same
I'm living
At the cost

Cause I'm done here
My life's lost most of it's recognition
For most my wounds are nothing now
Their friends been gone so long
That the cards and balloons are further in between
A way of life, no longer an emergency 
I'm living like this everyday
Like the beep on the LCD
Never stops, and when it dose, CPR is administered
All the same
Everyday
My walls are white
The color I'll never see

"get your pants off the ground!"

Frequently, my friends and I demonstrate irrational stupidity that probably no one ever thought possible. Examples include the following:

Cassidy and I were messing with textbooks in math because we already thoroughly knew the material and had nothing better to do. The textbooks all fell onto the floor. We picked them up. Then somehow, we grabbed wrists and I fell and knocked over Austin's desk. Then Gordan ran through the hallway singing about windows. Later, he tried a piece of dark chocolate, and was very melodramatic about how bad it tastes. Cassidy and another friend thought it was fine. It was only 70% cacao... Austin layed down on the floor in math for about ten minutes. The teacher didn't notice. Stella and I walked into school very solemnly, with dark sunglasses on. Several friends of ours decided to yell out revolting things at random intervals. At the end of the day, Stella, Amanda, and I all hugged each other. Amanda would not let go for seriously, five minutes or so. Relatively awkward. Stella and I said multiple times "Hey, Amanda, I love you too, but I really need to go home now." I have an unshakeable feeling that we'll always be little children deep inside.

Not too much has happened recently, other than I reconnected with some old friends, and bought tickets to see AFI in Charlotte, on March 13th. I actually paid for all the tickets this time. It was definitely worth it. I probably won't see them again for at least two years. And the concert is on a weekend.

Love,
Izzy

Irrational but awesome!

Life is silly.
Trying to decide if I want to be rational and logical or irrational and happy.
Let you know further information by the end of next week on my decision.
Off to sell everything.
Except not everything.

Pizza, Complaining, Credits, Complaining,

I am going to attempt to blog more often - why - because I have nothing else to do with my life.

I have been on vacation sense mid-December and I have failed to do anything productive - except decide what I want to do with my life.

First off: first semester of college was terrible - Not terrible by normal college freshman standards. No. Terrible enough that if everyone I knew put their worst college experience in a pot and stirred it around for 20 minutes my first semester would still have been worse.
- Maybe I am over exaggerating. - But it was pretty terrible.
Where to start... Orientation: I made one friend who I proceeded to lose by the next day. Then we were supposed to go to lunch with our advisors - I was planning on skipping that day of orientation but figured meeting my advisor would be a good thing. My advisor did not show up (and they also announced that 50 kids did not have their advisor as a teacher .. I was one of those 50 kids) We paraded around for hours doing a scavenger hunt while my orientation leader was a self centered baby who wanted everyone to pay attention to her, then getting dragged to a lunch - by this time I was cranky, hungry and tired. They proceeded to have the lunch arrive an hour late, I stayed because they said I could eat something. No. We all get in line - and all they got were pizzas. And like 6 small salads- because I was at the end of a 300+ kid line I decided I mine as well take the 20 minute hike back to my dorm. - Yes there is no reason for me to complain about that, not that big of a deal. But the little things add up!. The next major thing we did or orientation was this "boat cruse" thing where they put us on a boat and drove around the harbor for a few hours in the freezing cold. - I didn't manage to find anyone I felt like talking to so I sat with one of my roommates the whole night as she texted her boyfriend. Oh yea. MY PHONE FELL OFF THE BOAT! Spash! Right into the Boston Harbor. So I asked the people in charge of the ship when we were going back because they kept giving us terrible times. It was probably 9pm at this point - they said they decided instead of 10 they want to go in at 11. >.< (Oh yea- Couldn't eat any of the boat food ether after them insisting they did and it would be a wonderful time just to get me to pay the 40 bucks to go)
First day of classes - low and behold they messed up my schedule. What I signed up for was not on there -so I go over to the registration office and they tell me "oh yeah. Some kids schedules got messed up but we didn't have time to tell them so we just gave them what was left" Thanks for the heads up. All my classes were alright -except my teachers were all crazy.. To make a long story short - I don't think I accomplished anything all semester.
So semester two class picking time rolls around - we were supposed to meet our advisors (again). They all had assigned rooms - but my advisor decided she wanted to do it in her office. So after absentmindedly wandering around the school I found her - she then told me she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing cos she never went to any of the meetings and she doesn't check her school email. Brilliant! So she signs my forms - later I figure out that the classes I signed up for don't exists because the school emailed us all the wrong information. My advisor failed to tell me this - thankfully my roommates happened to have good advisors. So the day comes where we are supposed to sign up for classes - so they use the freshmen as test dummys and try this new computer program. they happened to forget they have the worst server in the whole world - so it crashed. So I go up to the registration office in my pjs - along with 50 other kids and they keep trying to tell us it will be up soon - but every time it comes up it crashes because the next "wave" of kids tries to sign up. After spending 5+ hours in the registration office I got signed up for classes and had to run to my class.

I apologize for all the complaining but I need to get it out.

So aside from classes I have been trying to get out of paying a ton of money for a meal plan that I can't use because there is no food I can eat. First - the people I try to contact refuse to get back to me - once my parents get involved they say I have to do all of it - well I would have if they ANSWERED ME! So I got a doctors note - they decided that I still had to pay - so I got a second doctors note and told them I was not going to pay the meal plan money for the bill - they keep sending me a bill for the meal money now even though they got the letter. I am going to kick someone in the mouth if they send me another bill.

Now I am trying to get out of there asap because if I leave I will have too many problems: They are a pass fail school, They have their own "curriculum" that liberal art schools/universities don't have, it is cheeper than the other art schools I would go to, so if I leave I wasted a whole semester (year) of school. But they only let you take 18 credits a semester where I am - so I have to take summer/winter classes so that I can graduate early and then go to grad school because with out it I won't have a job >.<

Now on top of all this I don't have anywhere to live next year >.<

But I am done ranting for now.