Recipe for Getting On a Teacher's Nerves

[we had to write a 'recipe poem' for class. i was sleepy.]

* 1 cup of random outbursts
* 2 tbsp of ridiculous questions.
* 1 tbsp senseless answers
* 1 tsp illegible handwriting
* 32 oz caffeinated drinks
* 1/4 cup falling out of chair frequently
* 3 tbsp wandering around the classroom
* 2 tsp spontaneous funny faces and dancing
* 16 oz uncalled for humming and snapping
* 3 cups being a smart-aleck
* 5 shakes of periodically announcing to the class that they just lost The Game.

I'm good at making people laugh. (If you don't know what "The Game" is, it's just something we do where if you think of it, you lose it. Entirely pointless. :D)

In other news, I've been writing songs for my band. We want to try to get on Warped Tour within the next few years. I asked my mom, and she said she'd let me go if we got in. She's starting to get more supportive. Today we looked at Les Paul Studios. I like this one. Although, I'm unsure. Maybe one of these instead. She asked the salesman a lot of questions about financing. There's a $100 mail-in rebate we can get. So the first one would be $1,299. I'd still be $600 short, as of now. Although, there's layaway. I know I can get a few hundred this year, with babysitting (hey, it's more flexible than an actual job. and kids love me.) and birthday money and such. Audrey (drummer/sitarist) is coming over Monday and we're going to work everything out. And I am going to return her pants, that have been at my house for months. She left them once, and we keep forgetting. Anyways, I'm definitely getting a Les Paul Studio in the near future.

Cover of Holiday by Green Day soon? I think so. And I recently started a tumblr, here.

Love,
Izzy
[PS - My mom wants me to go by my first name, (which is not Izzy, that's derived from my middle name), and it gets kind of awkward and embarrassing when people find out my first name because it's so far from Izzy, so I'm going to go by Carly next school year. But you can still call me Izzy if you want to.]

Break?

So now I am on spring break. But it really is not much of a break because I am searching for a school to transfer too. And working on a million things. I can't wait until sumer break - except I have to try and get ether a job or an internship =/
I've decided I am far too busy to finish this blog.

questions, but no definite answers. yet.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Which is always a good thing, but, more specifically, thinking about subjects such as existence, the human thought process, time, etc. And the past.

As you live longer, you begin to find that sometimes, if you truly love someone, you just have to let them go. Along with that, to let grudges and mistakes go. Disconnect from dismal things, to the best of your ability. Know when things are worth fighting over. People can and will change, but don't always try to change them. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you in return. Carefully choose the people you show affection to. Love just a bit more in general, but be careful who you become emotionally attached to.

I know this is pretty much common sense for everyone, but I think we, as in the world in general, should adhere to this thing we know as "common sense" a bit more sometimes. It doesn't always seem so common.

I think I have a crush on one of my good friends, and the boy who I used to like has changed. They are always so awesome, for lack of a better term, and we share so many interests. (I love being vague.) Yet I confuse myself. I don't think I'll tell them for... a long time. Because with me, if I hold my feelings inside, and not show them too often, it tends to work out better.

I've also realized that I don't belong here. Maybe taking a really long road trip would be a good idea. Yet last time I tried to do that, it never really materialized. Money is an issue, so is parental consent. I want to go to Mesa and Phoenix, AZ and visit my family. A lot of them live there. Plus I have a close friend there.

Enough rambling.

Love,
Izzy

Well.

I don't really know anymore.

Things happened, I don't think I'm emotionally or mentally competent anymore, people are being irrational (as always), the world never ceases to greatly exacerbate me, and I'm still the imperfect mess that I'll always be.

As one of my dad's friends said, "Sometimes, I just want to spank myself because I spend so much time brooding and wasting energy over things that don't really matter."

And as a girl in my class (who is also in advanced English) said, "May you please come over here for I can ask you a question?" I have a strong desire to ask a lot of people questions. Those questions that you can't really ask. Such as, "Why did you do this?", "What is your problem?", etc.

When things are said, even if in a facetious way, that should not be said in the current predicament, sometimes more is damaged than known. I consider myself relatively magnanimous, and it's not like it doesn't ever take time for me to forgive people, but there are those who hold grudges for way too long, to the point where it simply turns the situation much worse than it ever needed to be.

I sincerely apologize if I seem terribly morose, but I've just been holding feelings inside for quite a while, and I assume that it's beginning to leak out.

In other news, I've decided that I'm going to learn bass. I'm still going to focus on guitar, yet I want to learn bass because it would be good to know. I plan on buying a Gibson Les Paul Studio, and then a random cheap bass. Cassidy has determined that she, Gina, and I talk extremely loud because we're part Italian. We've also determined that I am Geeky-germaphobic-guitar-Hispanic-nerdy-piano-procrastinating-viola Woman. I looked into my family history. Seriously, 80% of all my female ancestors that I know of are named Maria. We've traced a few people back into the 16th century. :D (Gaspar de Vera was born in 1861 in Nuevo España, Nuevo Leon, Mexico.)

If I combined all my female ancestors' first names and last names in my family that I know of, I would be Ana-Beatrice-Beatrize-Betty-Catilina-Elma-Francesca-Francisca-Gertrudes-Josefa-Juana-Junana-Karin-Lucia-Manuela-Maria-Miranda-Nepomucena-Paula-Teresa-Vicenta

Aragon-Armijo-Baca-Blea-Brito-Castillo-Chapa-Chaves-Clark-Diaz-Duran-de la Fuenta-Garcia-Holguin-Hurtado-de Jesus Ramirez-Jorge-Kropot-Kuczynski-de Losada-Lucero-Madrid-Moya-Nativiad-de Noriega-Parras-Porras-Ramirez-Romero-Sanchez-Sandoval-Segura-Qintana-Tapia-Ulibarri-Urioste-Vallejos-de la Vega-Vela-de Vera-de Verla

If I combined all the male names... :/ you don't want to know. This includes direct ancestors, not aunts or uncles.

Well, now that I wasted a few minutes of your life, I encourage you to go research your family history if you haven't done so already. All I found out is that EVERYONE was Mexican. Except back into the 16th century, there were a few people from Spain and Portugal/etc. It's pretty cool. I'm thinking I'm going to go by Sanchez one day, because that's my mom's maiden name and no one, absolutely no one, can spell or pronounce my last name without help. I've met about three people who could in my lifetime.

I just should change my name to Maria Sanchez. There. Because I don't like my first name either. I think it sounds like an old lady name. And, no, it's not Isabella. You know, I'm just about to completely give up on boys for a while. Or relationships, in general.

I'm such a messed up person.

Oh! And random quote time!

"That's all youth group is. Homosexuality and pain. Because, first, they made us see who could stick their feet in a bucket of ice the longest, and then they got the women counselors and some blindfolded boys had to feel their legs and guess who they were. But then they switched out a few of the women with men. So they made boys feel mens' hairy legs when they thought they were going to touch a woman's leg. That's just cruel and unjust." - Stephen.

Love,
Izzy

I can't stand how whenever you make a password now you have to add numbers in it - but everyone has different requirements
"there needs to be more then one number" "Can include symbols" "Symbols don't count but caps do" >.<
It makes me mad when I have to log in and out of things and it takes me 5 tries because I forget what their regulations are.

On a side note - we bought a TV today but the people who delivered it had no idea how to instal it. o_O Wth. We bought the tv from a tv store that said their employees all know how to instal these systems.

Now I have to edit/make a film about my bestest friend. I think I want it to be happy and sad at the same time. I hope I get points for making people cry/laugh.

i must have done something wrong, or maybe pissed off god.

Well, now... not way too much has happened since my last update, other than typical teenage drama, pretty much. Except:
1) My grandpa died on Wednesday.
2) I have terrible luck with everything. Except the Saints won the Superbowl. Other than that, everything's gone wrong. Honestly. But it can, and will, eventually get better.

...and, well, there's been a few good/funny things that happened.

1) The substitute teacher accidentally called Daniel Danielle.
2) Gordan, Sean, and I are changing our names on facebook to Backothebus. The conversation at our lunch table went something like this:
Gordan: I don't get why they aren't letting boys and girls sit next to each other on the bus.
Me: They're afraid that kids will start kissing or something.
Sean: Yeah, like ten people got in trouble last year on a field trip for, um, doing something.
Gordan: I heard about that... they caught someone doing it on the bus.
Me: Okay, now first of all, why would you do that, and second, how would you do that?
Gordan: Apparently they were laying down on the floor... and kids are just stupid. I'm sorry, but we are. We, as in ourselves, are not that kind of stupid, though...
Sean: True, true. But there's also the back of the bus, there's three or four seats back there. Still. Who would be dumb enough to try that?
Me: Uh, teenagers... yeah, a lot of bad crap happens there.
Gordan: HAHA, BACK OF THE BUS. THE KIDS BACK THERE ALWAYS HAVE DRUGS AND STUFF AND NONE OF THE TEACHERS CARE.
Sean: You would know, wouldn't you. And that's definitely our new inside joke. Let's all change our names on facebook to Back-of-the-bus.
Gordan: No, Backothebus.
3) Stella, out of the blue: Do you want a cookie?
Me: Uh, no, they have dairy and eggs, which I do not consume, and you have absolutely no idea how creepy that sounded.
4) Liz to Ruthie (kidding, of course): STOP TOUCHING ME. I AM GOING TO RAPE YOU.
Liz later: Seriously stop it. I AM GOING TO THROW YOU OUT YOUR WINDOW ON YOUR SLED, AND YOU WILL FALL DOWN YOUR ROOF AND THAT STEEP HILL IN YOUR BACKYARD, AND INTO A CREEK WITH SHARP ROCKS.
Liz again: Ruthie, I am going to tie you to a tree and hit you with a belt repeatedly.
5) Good stuff has happened. But people are being confusing. Stating the obvious is fun.

...anyways, we're almost at 150 posts, and I believe the blog will hit its first anniversary on February 28th. I think that's relatively awesome.

Love,
Izzy

STATic

I found, there's nothing to this underneath
Just a fight for lives uncertain 
No matter what happens the outcome feels the same
So if I hurry
I'll still be here all the same
I was kidding myself to think
That a hospital bed with wheels
Meant a smoother recovery
Or that every time the vital signs drop
That the doctor will find medication in time

We were all left wondering where the quality of life went
Hooked up to a thousand machines
Everyone would like to think they'd help
But they only preserve the dead
On the days when I'm breathing
Or the days when I'm gasping
It all reads the same
I'm living
At the cost

Cause I'm done here
My life's lost most of it's recognition
For most my wounds are nothing now
Their friends been gone so long
That the cards and balloons are further in between
A way of life, no longer an emergency 
I'm living like this everyday
Like the beep on the LCD
Never stops, and when it dose, CPR is administered
All the same
Everyday
My walls are white
The color I'll never see