lately.

I transferred schools this year, the reasons being that it's much closer, and also, to use a euphemism, (several are used in this post), there were just some 'issues' for me at my old school. I won't go in-depth about those, because I may get strange glares if I do. [It's quite an extensive story, and if I explained it all, it would almost certainly confuse everyone that knows me even more.]

A few days ago, not only were my converse unmatched, (which was an accident and intentional at the same time), but I wore sunglasses the whole time during math and the teacher didn't notice. She was too busy talking about how her daughter took calculus three in tenth grade.

At school, this is what we did last year: literally run from place to place, live in constant fear of detention even if you didn't really do anything wrong, get pushed into a locker in the hallway because no one follows the rules of which hallways they're supposed to use, have thirty points taken off your grade because you did something like tape a piece of paper differently(actual occurrence), etc.

This is what we do this year: have friends like Austin that stand up and pull their pants down at random intervals, are extremely immature (not to say that the rest of us aren't), laugh at words like 'naked', and also do a variety of many other strange and inappropriate things. We have teachers that actually tell our friends to shut up, we go places we're not supposed to to prevent breaking a laptop and getting electrocuted, we sit in the closet for an hour and sometimes have deep conversations about life, and not have two to three hours of homework on an average day.

Lately, I've begun to realize that fairytales aren't real. [No, not Santa Claus or something. I passed the age of ten some time ago.] Quite a few of the things they've told me for so long, I am beginning to doubt and see how ridiculous and unrealistic they are. I feel much happier than I did a few weeks ago.

The new AFI album is simply amazing. It's far from what I had hoped for, but nevertheless, I love it. I have not actually gotten it, as it is in the mail and I am anxiously checking the tracking website about every ten seconds... Concert on October 19, in Richmond. Less than a month...

Honestly, I really don't know anymore. I likely have some of the strangest friends in the world, yet I love them to death.

We never can truly know who we are,

♥ Izzy.

The Despair Faction

Although I know you don't have to write about AFI related things here, I just wanted to share this entry I made in another blog of mine.

Tonight I visited the Thirty Seconds To Mars (one of my all time favorite bands) forum for only the second time, and I was looking through posts and rules, but I wasn't able to stay for very long. The rules were amazingly strict sounding and unwelcoming. I was seriously repelled. Although the posters were nice enough, I felt like I was reading a book, starting with the last chapter when I read through some of the topics. I couldn't get into it at all. It just seemed like a group of online friends talking, it didn't really seem like anything more (although avid posters of this forum may tell me differently, and I respect that, this was just my first impression).

The Despair Faction boards are the complete opposite. I never felt our of place, or alone there (I love how people often greet new members with "Welcome to the family"). Most people on the boards are wonderfully patient and will gladly help you if you have any problems. They don't put up with crap of coarse, and will tell you when your wrong... but it feels like a family. Even though I'm still not super close to any of them, I feel very at home. I feel connected to them. They are all very intelligent people, but usually don't show off or try to act like they are better than they really are. I have gotten into a few arguments, but nothing major or unforgivable.

I've always felt closer to AFI as a band. They do so much for their fans, and it's extremely apparent that they want to be as close to their fans as possible. After all, we are a faction, a family, and we are in this together. They seem to very much realize this. The BEGINTRANSMISSION contest is just one more way of them showing they care and want to meet their fans. Plus, their lyrics are just so personal, there isn't a single AFI song that I can't relate to. Their music makes you feel like your not alone, that someone has been through exactly what you've been through, and that it is possible to come out of the other side.

I want to become a DF member very soon, and the next time I get my hands on thirty dollars it will be the first thing I do. Just so I become an official member of this family, for life. It's an exceptionally small price to pay really.

To The Despair Faction: I love you all and I will hopefully be joining officially very soon!
To AFI: You have no idea how much you mean to me, and how much I'm looking forward to Crash Love!

Taking disturbing to a new level. (And homicidal children!)

So.

Leaving for camp in mountains on Sunday for two weeks. Away from chaos. Maybe not. Most likely causing chaos in cabin, with three friends in there with me. We're probably going to be dancing when we're supposed to be sleeping, like a few years ago. Going spelunking (caving!) while at camp. Fun.

Watch me have an allergic reaction to something and then end up in the nurse's office again. They can never figure out what it is. I tell them that it's kind of normal while I'm at camp, and a few minutes later, I'm okay. Extremely weird. But I happen to be getting allergy tested, thankfully. After camp. Insane.

I just finished being a "volunteer" (funny, because it was involuntary) for a camp. Only half a day for five days, but it is really exhausting. I was with the rising first graders. Yes, they are so, so, adorable. When they try to hurt me, first I tell them to stop, and then I say "Okay, stop. Now. Or I will tell your mommy." They get so scared. However, all of the girls will not let go of me. Literally. I mean that. They're always fighting over piggyback rides, and holding my hand wherever we go. I don't mind it too much, because they don't injure me. And then the boys. Dylan won't let go of me either. Yesterday, he kept trying to kill me during the assembly thingy they have by trying to climb on my back. (WTF moment.) And he threw a water balloon, which they were not supposed to throw, at me after we played a game together. One minute he loves me, the next minute he tries to kill me, usually on accident. Fun, as you can imagine. Riley also tries to kill me and most other people in the class. He thinks it's funny, and no one else does. And then Hooker. Yes, there really is a kid named Hooker. He's the really spacey one. I think he might have severe ADD or something. Thankfully, Lilly Gray is his best friend and she always holds his hand and watches him so he doesn't get left anywhere. Cute.

Also, my cousin and I made a bunch of dumb videos today. He's 9. We tried to yesterday, but we ran out of time because he wanted to play guitar hero. I spiked up his hair, and he thought it was really cool looking, and then put foundation on his face so it wouldn't be so pink, cause it looks funny on our camera. Then I showed my aunt, who was watching Twilight, because he looked a lot like Edward Cullen, who disturbs me very much, by the by. [Yes, by the by. Oh how I love Alice In Wonderland and the Cheshire Cat.]

I am in the process of writing another [really long] letter to AFI. I ascribe them to saving my life. There was a time a few months ago when I had what I, and others, believed was chronic depression. I went to a psychologist, and even though she was really nice and tried everything she could, she just couldn't I almost killed myself. I mean I was really, really close to doing it. Then, I decided not to, because I thought of some AFI lyrics. I can't remember exactly what they were, but I believe it was something out of Now The World or God Called In Sick Today. Spontaneous miracle. After that, I started paying more attention to AFI lyrics, and realized that there could be deep meanings in some of the songs, for me, at least. Davey said "Lyrically I write what I feel and believe - nothing more, nothing less." I guess sometimes we feel the same way.

Most of my friends wonder how I'm so happy and optimistic when something bad happens. Anyways, I believe that I've become an optimist because of AFI's music. I love them, meaning being eternally grateful for saving your life, as much as you can love someone that you don't really know. Because without them, I would almost surely be dead/in a mental hospital. I mean that.

Sorry for another excessively long post.

Sometimes I'll be someone, somewhere, somehow,

♥ Izzy

[I make absolutely no sense at all. (Especially when I get nervous. Because then I'll do something like saying "Norway" instead of "drawing" or I'll just repeat things like "somewhere, somehow, something, someone, someway" etc, or start skipping words, or talking in Japanese, German, French, or even sometimes Russian. Haha, I can't speak much Russian, but Julie taught me some.) Or maybe I do. Sometimes. :)]

And We Will See How Godless A Nation We Have Become.

That was a totally random title, but I'm hooked on East Jesus Nowhere so OH WELL.
This post is about my four friends.

SILVER:
She's been my friend since last September. We became friends because of, well, Eragon and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Tibby ♥). She's older than me by a few months and taller than me by a few inches. Her favorite bands are Within Temptation and Evanescence. She also likes AFI and Blaqk Audio (all my fault, I'm dragging her to a concert or two). Silver also loves the TV show Doctor Who (which I now also love) and her favorite book series is Lord of the Rings.
She writes crazy well. I have a minor part in her Doctor Who fanfiction, as the Doctor's companion's assistant. So I don't do much till the second book.
LAst year, we had all the same classes together.

TOKI:
I've been friends with her since October of '08. We became friends through PE class. She's insane and weird and random, she loves Nickelback. I'm forcing her to learn many AFI lyrics this summer so I can also drag her to a concert. She adores manga, especially NAruto and +Anima. And the anime Howl's Moving Castle. Yum, Howl ♥ She's also older than me, but shorter than me.

AIKARA/JADEN:
I became friends with her through Toki, and we've been hanging since December or January. She fueled my love of Afee (I'd already heard GNG and Silver And Cold, but she played Toki PRelude 12/21 and Toki played it for me and got me hooked...). She draws insanely well.
She is a lover of all things Jade, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Helena Bonham Carter. She's also the only one of my friends who can symphasize with my Red Hot Chili Peppers obsession.
I won't have to drag her to a concert, XD. I'm also going to the Green Day concert with her, Shika, and my mom!
We sometimes play the AFI game. She's always Jade, I'm always Davey.

SHIKAMARU-HIME (Shika):
I became friends with her through Jaden and Toki. We started hanging out in January, during and after the local ComiCon. I have no clue what her favorite band is, but I think it may be Green Day.
She also draws pretty well.

So these are people I'll be talking about in my posts. BTW, Silver and Jaden totally hate eachother and Toki really annoys Silver, so...

--Suki

Pasta and spiders and dancing. Wow.

So on Friday, I'll be stuck with a bunch of six and seven year olds for seven and a half hours, half of that being outside on 'field day.' Essentially running around outside, and trying to avoid heat stroke. Little children love me. I don't really know why.

Then on Saturday, I will be at my grandma's with my mom's side of the family for a Father's Day lunch thingy. My cousins and I should play that game where we were pretending to be AFI. I was Jade, since someone told me that I'm a lot like him, once again, I don't really know why, and Ryan, who's almost 11, was Davey, Mike, who's 10, was Hunter, and little Marie, who's 9, was Adam. XD. No one in my family or AFI really is anywhere close to Adam or Marie's personality.

We were talking about having problems, and then Mike/Hunter told Ryan/Davey "Well you express your problems in your songs!" That was really funny. I mean Davey doesn't have problems, and he doesn't express them in his songs, and I definitely don't want to make fun of AFI, but we just joked around and acted stupid like we usually do the whole time. And made up "the spider dance." Don't even ask about the "circus in the woods," where there's (really) a black pond and (not really) an "old hermit that had liposuction who lives in a tattered blue tent." Don't. We definitely don't have overactive imaginations. Grandma has an interesting house... there's a rusty old chair that's been there for maybe fifteen or twenty years, of course the whole "circus in the woods" thing, and there's also a lot of barbed wire and piles of wooden structures that were broken down. Since she lives almost in the middle of nowhere, but sort of near Fort Bragg, which is a military fort, we can always here shooting and stuff.

Maybe kids love me because I go along with all their games. Maybe because we go to "circuses in the woods."

I was singing and dancing around the kitchen while waiting for water to boil. Oh how I love being home alone sometimes, or with my friends that tolerate/join in on weird things like that.

♥ Izzy.