lately.

I transferred schools this year, the reasons being that it's much closer, and also, to use a euphemism, (several are used in this post), there were just some 'issues' for me at my old school. I won't go in-depth about those, because I may get strange glares if I do. [It's quite an extensive story, and if I explained it all, it would almost certainly confuse everyone that knows me even more.]

A few days ago, not only were my converse unmatched, (which was an accident and intentional at the same time), but I wore sunglasses the whole time during math and the teacher didn't notice. She was too busy talking about how her daughter took calculus three in tenth grade.

At school, this is what we did last year: literally run from place to place, live in constant fear of detention even if you didn't really do anything wrong, get pushed into a locker in the hallway because no one follows the rules of which hallways they're supposed to use, have thirty points taken off your grade because you did something like tape a piece of paper differently(actual occurrence), etc.

This is what we do this year: have friends like Austin that stand up and pull their pants down at random intervals, are extremely immature (not to say that the rest of us aren't), laugh at words like 'naked', and also do a variety of many other strange and inappropriate things. We have teachers that actually tell our friends to shut up, we go places we're not supposed to to prevent breaking a laptop and getting electrocuted, we sit in the closet for an hour and sometimes have deep conversations about life, and not have two to three hours of homework on an average day.

Lately, I've begun to realize that fairytales aren't real. [No, not Santa Claus or something. I passed the age of ten some time ago.] Quite a few of the things they've told me for so long, I am beginning to doubt and see how ridiculous and unrealistic they are. I feel much happier than I did a few weeks ago.

The new AFI album is simply amazing. It's far from what I had hoped for, but nevertheless, I love it. I have not actually gotten it, as it is in the mail and I am anxiously checking the tracking website about every ten seconds... Concert on October 19, in Richmond. Less than a month...

Honestly, I really don't know anymore. I likely have some of the strangest friends in the world, yet I love them to death.

We never can truly know who we are,

♥ Izzy.

The Despair Faction

Although I know you don't have to write about AFI related things here, I just wanted to share this entry I made in another blog of mine.

Tonight I visited the Thirty Seconds To Mars (one of my all time favorite bands) forum for only the second time, and I was looking through posts and rules, but I wasn't able to stay for very long. The rules were amazingly strict sounding and unwelcoming. I was seriously repelled. Although the posters were nice enough, I felt like I was reading a book, starting with the last chapter when I read through some of the topics. I couldn't get into it at all. It just seemed like a group of online friends talking, it didn't really seem like anything more (although avid posters of this forum may tell me differently, and I respect that, this was just my first impression).

The Despair Faction boards are the complete opposite. I never felt our of place, or alone there (I love how people often greet new members with "Welcome to the family"). Most people on the boards are wonderfully patient and will gladly help you if you have any problems. They don't put up with crap of coarse, and will tell you when your wrong... but it feels like a family. Even though I'm still not super close to any of them, I feel very at home. I feel connected to them. They are all very intelligent people, but usually don't show off or try to act like they are better than they really are. I have gotten into a few arguments, but nothing major or unforgivable.

I've always felt closer to AFI as a band. They do so much for their fans, and it's extremely apparent that they want to be as close to their fans as possible. After all, we are a faction, a family, and we are in this together. They seem to very much realize this. The BEGINTRANSMISSION contest is just one more way of them showing they care and want to meet their fans. Plus, their lyrics are just so personal, there isn't a single AFI song that I can't relate to. Their music makes you feel like your not alone, that someone has been through exactly what you've been through, and that it is possible to come out of the other side.

I want to become a DF member very soon, and the next time I get my hands on thirty dollars it will be the first thing I do. Just so I become an official member of this family, for life. It's an exceptionally small price to pay really.

To The Despair Faction: I love you all and I will hopefully be joining officially very soon!
To AFI: You have no idea how much you mean to me, and how much I'm looking forward to Crash Love!